NEW YORK, NY — You’ve heard of the old adage taking candy from the hands of a baby. Now this: Instead of taking candy from hands, parents are tossing cheese at their baby’s head or face. And recording it. And then putting their cheesy video on the internet for all — make that for some — to have a good laugh.
For those who think it’s funny, experts have some warnings.
First, yes. The social media trend known as hashtag “#cheesed” is a real thing; head over to Instagram if you don’t believe it. The short videos start off innocuous enough. A person, presumably an adult and probably the child’s parent, records an innocent child sitting in a high-chair or some other gizmo that keeps children from wandering off. The adult then takes a thin slice of cheese, most often yellow, and tosses it on a baby’s head or face.
Sometimes it’s a gentle toss. The cheese lifts to its peak, then gravity takes over before plunking on the baby’s face. Other times the cheese is propelled with some force, more akin to a light baseball toss.
Some babies jerk their heads back in shock and promptly remove the misplaced dairy product from their person. Others peel off the yellow foreign object and give a blank stare. Some laugh.
The videos, which appear to have been posted within the last week, receive thousands of views. Sometimes tens of thousands. The practice has since evolved to include pets, with owners tossing cheese at their animals. Friends are also tossing cheese on sleeping friends.
Which begs the question — is it, um, harmful? Instagram commenters from all walks of life have an opinion. Most seem to agree it’s just harmless fun. Typically, these folks say something along the lines of, “It’s a piece of cheese,” as if throwing food at a child is akin to cuddling him or her.
“Its (sic) a piece of cheese not a tomahawk,” writes commenter kaleyshmaley.
Others disagree. Throwing things at babies isn’t funny. It’s child abuse.
“I am so calling social services for this s—! How about me throwing some s— over your face? Just because he is tinier and defenseless, that doesn’t make him any less human than you,” writes irate commenter orkidi.
The truth, experts say, is somewhere in the middle. Throwing a slice of cheese at a baby’s head probably doesn’t rise to the level of child abuse, Dr. Ferol Mennen, an associate professor at the University of Southern California’s Suzanne Dworak-Peck School of Social Work, told Patch on Tuesday. But that doesn’t mean it’s acceptable behavior. In fact, neither she nor her doctoral student Abigail Palmer Molina had heard of the trend.
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“We have never heard of throwing cheese at babies,” said Mennen, who has spent three decades studying the effect of child abuse on children. When she first saw the videos, Mennen and Molina were in disbelief.
“This is ridiculous! Look at this! Why would people do that?,” Mennen exclaimed.
Throwing things at children, including cheese slices, could lead to short- or long-term consequences, she said, depending on what else is going on in the family or whether the child has developmental disabilities that aren’t yet known. Moreover, if a sibling sees an adult throw cheese at a baby (or simply watches videos of such) they might think that’s OK.
But the bigger issue might be that parents are essentially exploiting their babies for entertainment.
“To me, it’s a little bit as if they’re not seeing their baby as an individual separate from themselves,” she said. “They’re using the baby as entertainment and they’re not thinking about what is it like for this baby to be sitting there and having something come at them. That has to be frightening.”
It shows the parents might not be concerned enough about the baby’s needs, she said. Looking through the videos, several things stood out to Mennen. She was struck by just how young some babies were — some were just a couple months old — and how scared they appeared.
“This one’s very startled,” she said of one video.
It seems many parents just want to get a reaction out of their babies.
“And if the reaction is to be frightened, I think they’re doing it,” she said. “And I would say, ‘Why would a parent want to do that to their child? Why would a parent want to frighten their child?”
While she doesn’t believe that one instance of throwing cheese at a baby’s face would result in long-term trauma, it could be a harbinger of how the parents will raise their children. Specifically, it could indicate those parents might have trouble understanding their child’s needs and understanding where their child is developmentally.
“This represents parents who need to use their child as some kind of entertainment for other people,” she said. “That would have long-term effects.”
Molina, Mennen’s doctoral student who has studied child-parent relationships for five years, offered a more blunt assessment.
“It’s mean,” she said.
Molina offered parents more constructive activities they can do with their babies. Sing. Babble. Make funny faces. Clap. There are just as many social media videos of parents doing these things, and best of all, the baby can participate.
“A baby can’t throw cheese back at you,” she said.
When asked about push back from commenters who insist it’s harmless fun, Molina said she understands where they’re coming from. But she would rather see parents have the best interactions with their children and develop that relationship.
“I just don’t know if that meets my criteria,” she said of the cheese-throwing. “Things that are funny are great. But if that’s not really what’s going to build this relationship with the baby and promote optimal development then why are we doing it and why are we spending a lot of time publicizing it?”